Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Unrequited -- An Original Fiction Story... That You Can Read As A Fanfic... Or Vice Versa

Before we continue, I'd just like to say that I'm really elated with the number of creative pieces that have resulted out of Hayate no Gotoku's finale. It might not be the most well-accepted ending (especially among the vocal English language community... with some among them feeling that everyone else should loathe the ending just as they do for "reasons."), but these fanworks are good proof that not everyone dislikes this ending.

Salt aside, here's a nice ongoing fanfic based on the finale written by a regular commenter on this blog (meandanime): Hayate The Combat Butler: The Missing Link

With that said, on to my one-shot fic/fanfic... well, you'll see~

As I watched their hands connect like two pieces of a puzzle,,,


by lordcloudx

“There is something I want to tell you, under this vast, starlit sky.”
As I watched their hands connect like two pieces of a puzzle, I knew in my heart that she had found her happiness – and this was definitely good enough for me. These were my most honest sentiments at that time.

However, somewhere inside me – perhaps within the most repressed, most depraved recesses of my psyche, my emotions felt somewhat contradictory. While I felt filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness, there were also some faint feelings of envy and loss within me.
“So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

“Well… where do I start, exactly? Right, what kind of things do you like to cook?”

“What? What kind of question is that? I thought you were going to talk about something important! Important!”

“Eeh? But cooking is important!”

I strained my ears to overhear their conversation.  They had not noticed me yet – or rather, perhaps they did not care to. After all, this was a fresh start for the two of them. Right now, their future is still undecided, but with the way their hands were intertwined, anyone looking at them could not help but admit that come what may, they would always be together from this day forth…

But I digress. First of all, let’s go back to the very beginning of this story.
It happened on a Christmas eve.
When I first saw her, I thought she looked very sweet and oh-so vulnerable.  Wide, innocent eyes, long hair fluttering in the breeze, and a body so petite that it seemed as if the wind would sweep her off her feet. She was someone I wanted to protect.

And yet, one might say that she was quite a contradiction. Despite her frail appearance, she had a fiery personality that could probably scare even an evil spirit into submission – that is, if I even believed in the existence of such supernatural things in the first place.

She was the type of person who complained about every little thing and expected the world to bow down and roll out a red carpet in her presence. Even if the rising sun itself were to disturb her slumber, she’d unabashedly tell it to descend again just so she could sleep some more.
Yes, there were definitely a lot of things to like about her… but, I never felt that she was irreplaceable… at least not yet.

Not until that day when she declared, “I don’t need anything that was given to me… I will take charge of my own life. I will do everything on my own. I don’t need to be protected.”

It would quite a bit of time before I saw her again. This time, the circumstances were a bit different. While our first meeting was a mere accident, this time, I was the one who had chosen to meet her again.

When I saw her familiar face again – her appearance, her form, her bossy attitude, it seemed as if little had changed – but on the inside, her transformation was undeniable.

Perhaps… at the back of my mind, I wanted her to be great: a pride borne from having known her before she had found her success.

Yet, at the same time, it was also a bit more than that. She had a quiet strength about her. A look of determination within those sharp, innocent eyes that loudly declared, “Witness me! I can do anything – absolutely anything by myself!”

I didn’t need a reason to think this way. I just knew that she was special, unlike anyone I had ever known in this world.

At that moment, I knew that she was out of my grasp. I realized that I could only watch her from the shadows. Supporting the path that she had chosen – and the paths that she would choose in the future but with the full knowledge that nothing that I would ever do would make a difference.

I knew this and yet, I also realized at that point, that I could not take my eyes off of her. Even if I realized that our paths would never cross – even if I truly believed that she was always designed for success no matter what… I realized that I wanted to watch over her. To protect her reputation from the naysayers and the prophets of doom, to see her face from afar every single day.

I don’t know when it happened exactly, but… at some point, I had to acknowledge it. I had fallen in love with her – and yet, I never once wanted her to fall for me. I loved her without demanding reciprocity – perhaps…  I was wrong. She was not the contradictory one – I was.

And thus, silently, diligently, ceaselessly, I watched over her. For a while, circumstances could not allow me to meet her, but I was satisfied as long as I could witness her relishing life’s little triumphs.

But finally, the time had come. 

It was a Christmas Eve, three years since I met her.

I combed my hair to near perfection, leaving one tuft of hair standing on end – 
I just thought she might like that.

I rushed out of my room slamming the door behind me.

“Hey, watch the door, sonny! It’s worth more than the rent you pay, you know!”

“S-sorry! Oh wait… I forgot something.”


“I just told you not to slam that door!”

Of all things, I forgot my jacket. It’s December after all. After putting on the jacket and making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything else,  I rushed out and closed the door gently this time – under the watchful eye of the landlady. I bowed deeply in apology and she waved me off with an annoyed look on her face.

In any case, I didn’t have time to waste… I was certain she would be there today… waiting… this night was special after all…

When I arrived, she had just chased off a pair of potential troublemakers. Actually, I couldn’t really blame them for approaching her. In fact, I was congratulating them on the inside for having such good taste.

And then it happened.  Our eyes met for just a split second, then she turned to the side. Bowing her head low so that her bangs covered her eyes, a sly smile formed a slit across her face.

She began to speak, but… I was too far away to hear. But it’s not like that really mattered. I doubt that I would have been able to understand anything at that point. My mind was in full throttle. I thought about all the things that I had left unsaid since then. About how I thought I was protecting her on that day, when all along, I was always the one being saved. I had run through our conversation hundreds to thousands of times in my head. I had lost weight just agonizing over how I would confront her.

I stepped out of the bushes from where I had been watching her. There was no use hiding anymore. This had to be done.

As I approached her, I thought about exactly what I would say.

“I wish you happiness… in the future that I can never be a part of?”

No… that feels too sad.

“I will always be watching you…?”

While this is true, it feels like I’m setting up a death flag.

“Huh? Who are you and what do you want?”

The voice snapped me back into reality.

“Stay behind me!”

He spread his arms out to shield her.


I paid no heed and continued to advance. My steps were sure now. In the brief moment that I watched them interact, I understood what I needed to do.

“Come any closer to us… and I will not be responsible for what happens next.”

I held out my hands in front of him and then bowed deeply to show that I meant no harm.

“What do you want?”

“I’m sorry but, I just need to say something to that young lady behind you… if you would be so kind.”

“You can say it from there… don’t come near her.”

“No, it’s fine.”

She grabbed him by the shoulder as she said this, causing him to drop his guard. If I had chosen that moment to attack, he would have been completely vulnerable – regardless of how physically capable he was.

“Well…? What is it that you have to say to me?”

At that point, she was the one who stepped forward – stopping just within arm’s length of me.
For a while, I didn’t say a word. I just stood there, mesmerized by her appearance – no, by her very being.

Her windblown hair was fluttering softly and glinting in the moonlight. Her kind, yet sharp eyes that spoke of limitless potential shone softly, reflecting the starlight that bathed her petite, feminine figure – the curves of her body plainly visible even underneath her autumn parka. She was stunningly beautiful.

At that point, I could have grabbed her and stolen a kiss. I could have even swept her off her feet and made a run for it. There were many paths open for me. Many possibilities – so many thoughts of “what could have been” were running through my head at that time.

 I took a step forward… taking in her loveliness one last time; etching her very image permanently into my memories, taking a shard of eternity and locking it away forever in my chest.

Thus, the words came out.

“Thank you.”

With a bow, I turned and walk away.


Thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts in the comments. See you next time in future articles, stories and fanart to come. I'll be posting here again next week for sure.


  1. The idea of writing the last scene in a third person's perspective is solely new to me. And specially the 'thank you' was amazing and perfectly justified. Hayate's protectiveness reminds me of the first chapters of this manga mostly before going to the violate mansion.

    1. Thank you for your comment. In my mind, Hayate is still protective of her after the ending -- but not because he thinks she's vulnerable, but rather, because she has become someone he truly loves and whom he doesn't want to lose.

  2. As now even the very last chapter has been out in English, the extra pages are like the Maria's letter to us. We all are curious about it after the ending of the manga. The manga ended surprisingly soon even if we knew when it will end some weeks ago; like Maria's sudden departure shocked Nagi even if she knew about it before meeting with Kanzaki. And once we will have that extra pages, the manga will really end, so much like what nagi did, we wish that day comes as slowly as possible. And last but not the least, even if it ends, it will leave us many irreplaceable moments and feelings that we will treasure for many years to come, just what Maria's letter conveyed to Nagi.
    And about the last chapter, I wonder what is written in the 30th page!
    The most wonderful thing to me is just when Hayate says his feelings has not decreased in the last two years, the coloured pages started. It's like Hayate's words filled their lives with colours. That effect was awesome.

    1. Actually, I'm personally not that curious about the extra pages in vol. 52. Hata already said that the true ending of the manga happened in chapter 568. Whatever he adds in the extra volume will probably just fill in some gaps before the end. I'd love to see a new art book with more 16 year-old Nagi though.

      By the way, this particular fanfic was inspired by a dream I had.

      As far as I can tell, it looks like the 30th page (the handwritten note) just contains the same message as the 31st page.

    2. Thanks for the information. And the dream you had maybe exceptional too. As normally I find myself acting as one of those character whenever I have such a dream with the characters of the story I care for the most.

  3. I loved how the narrator ponders for a while over what he's truly capable of if he succumbs to his desire to be with Nagi but at the end his gratitude and her safety are the most important for him and he'll remove anything that stands against her happiness, even himself. Absolutely amazing piece of work.

  4. Thank you for your comment... as well as for the feedback and encouragement as I was writing this fic. Looking forward to your HayaNagi fic next time

  5. I always like so read stories in someone's pov. It somehow gets you more involved. Nice. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Yeah, I think there are advantages and disadvantages to first-person vs third-person storytelling. Third-person allows you more direct introspection on the feelings of the narrator at that particular moment. On the other hand, third-person narration does have more leeway for giving importance and focus to other characters... which I couldn't do in this fic. There was no way to use the narrator to tell what was going on in Hayate and Nagi's heads.


lordcloudx loves discussions, so comment away. No direct or indirect personal attacks, please.

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