Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Happy Birthday 2020, Nagi Sanzen'in (December 3)

Yup, time for some meaningless fictional character birthday post again. I'll keep this short... or at least I promise not to ramble on too much.

Recently, me and good friend have been discussing (online) how I've (We've - plural) been infatuated with Gawr Gura from HololiveEn lately and yes, it's true. I'd now place Gura as my number three waifu just behind Miku. 

Anyway, he said something along the lines of "just let it happen naturally" in the event that Gura eventually becomes my number one waifu.

Of course I'm like... hold up there a minute, pardner! (and yes, I imagine this line in Gura's voice.) See, it's kinda different. Nagi was, is and will always be a huge part of my life. It's blind dedication, it's self-delusion, but it's also something that makes me happy and that harms no one at all -- not even myself, as much as some might like to believe otherwise.

Also, yes -- I realize that in western cultures, what I'm saying here is quite "cringe," but then again, why would I care if some random strangers on the internet cringe at my confessions in my isolated little place on the internet? 

You see, I don't believe in seasonal waifus and whether people validate/acknowledge it or not, I love mai waifus sincerely -- not just as a meme or some passing trend to be replaced again next season or when the next otaku fad arrives and I happen to latch on to it.

I understand why he said that I might eventually replace Nagi with Gura though. After all, there is a real person behind Gura and even though we all understand that vtubers in general are there for entertainment with the barrier of the cute anime girl avatar never to be breached, it's easy to fall for these personas because beneath the veil of online content creation, there's a real person there somewhere and the more you watch these vtubers' videos, the more your brain forms attachments to these people -- whether it's for the pseudo-3D character being portrayed or for the real human being portraying said character.

Long story short, a vtuber like Gura is more human and should be easier to get attached to than a totally fictional girl like Nagi -- who was even written by a man (Kenjirou Hata).

But well, to answer my friend in this blog post, that really doesn't matter to me. I love Nagi -- I know these feelings are true and they will remain true for the rest of my life. I don't feel "lonely" nor do I engage in self-deprecating talk even for jest like most people who self-identify as otaku do. I own up to these feelings for my fictional one true love and I accept them as a part of me -- no matter how long ago her story might have ended. 

It's not a feeling that can be rationalized nor reduced into logic -- and that's fine. I'm simply affirming what I feel for my own personal satisfaction -- a concept that seems to be slowly becoming extinct. with the hive-mind mentality people have adopted so easily and unquestioningly nowadays.

Happy Birthday, Nagi. I love you and loving you makes me happy.

End of rambling.

Here's some birthday art I made. 
Also including pics of my birthday present to Nagi doll. It's not much, but it's hard to buy stuff for her during this pandemic anyway. I did my besht!

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